nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Quick, to the slutcave!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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