the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize