If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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