Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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