Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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