They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
