he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
