we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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