Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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