I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
