i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
