To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
