I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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