OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
