I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
