White coat. Heels.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
