I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
