sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
