she looked like the before picture.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
