how hairy? two words: wookie tits
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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