just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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