well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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