the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize