The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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