it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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