Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
