Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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