I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
