I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Someone came in the potted fern
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
