We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he shaved USA in his pubs
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
