just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
