Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
