this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
