fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
