I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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