how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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