you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This is classic penis vs brain.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
