dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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