It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
