I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
