Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
