what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
