Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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