Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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