I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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