I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
