Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
