New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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