Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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