Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
