He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize