I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
