I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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