I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize