I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
