I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
