I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
