bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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