I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
