The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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