Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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