People with herpes should wear stickers.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
