Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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