SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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