The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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