I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
