I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize