He told me they were just razor bumps!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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