The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
