So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
