your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We talked him into tasing himself.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
