We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
