i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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