this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
