hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
